The Holian Society has always been interested in the pursuit of "physical excellence," or at least, finding ways to sweat profusely without actually having to interact with the outdoors. Beat Saber is our official solution—a game that successfully tricks us into exercising by convincing us we are dual-wielding lightsabers in a futuristic, neon void. To an outside observer, a Society member playing this looks like someone trying to fight off an invisible swarm of bees in a darkened living room. To the initiate inside the headset, however, we are rhythmic gods of destruction, slicing through neon cubes with the surgical precision of a laser-wielding maestro.

The Holian Society initially approached Night City with the practiced skepticism of a corporate board of directors conducting a hostile takeover. We came for the flashy cyberware, the neon-drenched streets, and the promise of becoming a legendary mercenary who could solve any problem with a high-caliber revolver and a sarcastic AI voice in our head. We expected a playground; what we got was a life-altering architectural masterpiece that eventually invited us to a mental breakdown.

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Let the grand record of the Holian Society state: we told you so.

After thousands of hours of high-stakes "negotiations," the Holian Society has concluded that Dead by Daylight is not a horror game. It is the ultimate 4-v-1 Human Resources simulator.

After thousands of collective hours, the Holian Society has concluded that Team Fortress 2 is not, in fact, a 9-class objective-based shooter.